Taylor's counts are almost at zero. She is at 75 today. She has gone down much more quickly this round and will most likely stay at zero longer this round. It is expected that once her counts do start to rise, they will rise very slowly. Her body is so compromised after so many rounds of chemo that it is hard to recover. I had hoped that we would be home by January 15th but one of the doctors told me today that was very optimistic!!!!
Taylor did not have a reaction to the injection last night. She had a very restless night of sleep and got sick a couple of times. She was very tired and lethargic today. She wanted badly to get up and play but just didn't have it in her. She enjoyed getting her nails painted by her RN and playing bingo with her doctor but that was about all. She wanted to lay with mommy and watch TV the majority of the day.
Taylor is so excited for Christmas and I am dreading it. I still can not fathom that I have to wake up on Christmas morning with only one of my daughters. I will stay with Taylor at the hospital for Christmas Eve and Christmas day but will try to find an hour or so to be with Savannah. The choice is excruciating but I just can't leave Taylor when she will not be feeling well. I pray that the girls are still young enough that they will only have a small memory of this Christmas and that next year we will all be back together.
At a time when I should be so excited that Taylor is finished with chemo, the reality of AML is truly hitting me. 3 AML patients that we know have taken a turn for the worse. One patient was not responding after 2 rounds of chemotherapy so is going to bone marrow transplant. Another was sent home on hospice after numerous rounds of chemotherapy and bone marrow transplant. The third child went through 5 rounds of chemotherapy and was in remission. He then relapsed and has gone through 2 separate bone marrow transplants. His body accepted both transplants but the leukemia has once again returned. I was awake most of the night last night asking "why does this happen?" I also stare at Taylor all night thinking...what is going to happen...will she go into remission.....will she go to transplant....we she ever be able to be "normal". These questions haunt me every minute of every day.... I think it is just the holiday season...it is so not what I thought we would be doing this Christmas.
Please pray for Taylor and all of the kids at PCH...such a tough time of the year.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Kristen and Family,
ReplyDeleteKeep you all in my prayers and sending well wishes. Thank you for all the updates on the blog. Think of you often and know that everything will get better. Keep the hope strong.
Anuja
We will pray for Taylor and all the kids at PCH. Stay strong Kristen, you are amazing. I pray for you as a mother to a mother for that strength to continue. Tay is such a tough little cookie, we miss her. Love to you all, Kelly and Carly
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long time since we have been close, but I think of you daily. As a Mommy, we have this amazing strength to take anything handed to us, handle it and keep going. Remember, you ARE doing this day in and day out and Christmas, although a special day, is still just another day - your girls will weather it just fine and will look back on it and be thankful for such an amazing Mother. Hang in there - it will get better but so hard to not think about all the "what ifs" right now. A day at a time. Praying for Taylor and all the other amazing little kiddos as PCH. xoxo Merilee
ReplyDeleteKristen - your strength amazes me daily. I believe that all this will soon be behind you and your family will be together in the new year with everyone healthy and happy.
ReplyDelete