Loving Taylor

Well.....just when I get over the disappointment of Savannah not being able to visit Taylor on Christmas and formulate Plan B......everything changes again. Plan B was to spend the day with Taylor at PCH and then switch and take Savannah out to dinner and watch her open a couple of presents. Savannah started coughing on Tuesday during the night and stayed home sick from school on Wednesday. Her cough continued through the day on Wednesday so I had Sean take her in to make sure it wasn't something more than a cold. Luckily, they thought she just had a cold but she started throwing up at dinner last night. She got up numerous times through out the night and was pretty sick. Sean took her back to the doctor today and she was tested for Influenza A. LUCKILY, she tested negative for Influenza A but has more than a cold. It is most likely a stomach virus and will hopefully pass within 24 hours. The problem is......I can't be around her and then come back and see Taylor. Taylor is still at zero (and will be for quite some time) so she would not be able to fight off any sort of bug that I could bring to her. So......I will not be able to spend any time with Savannah on Christmas. I had a major break down today.....thank goodness for the RN's and my friend Holly.....the thought of not seeing Savannah on Christmas was more than I could take. If Savannah goes all day Friday without vomiting or a fever, I might be able to see her on Saturday. Last night while Savannah was getting sick, she was crying saying that she just "wanted Mommy". Breaks my heart!!!! Anyway..... it will be a tough day tomorrow. Savannah will spend the day with Papa, Daddy, and Grandma. Santa will be by PCH for a visit and Taylor is very excited. We will just have to make the best of it.....

Taylor is feeling really good. She is eating well, playing, and doing great. I continue to wait for the fevers to start......maybe we will get lucky this round and avoid them.

Today at PCH, I got to experience ToyLand. It was amazing and bittersweet at the same time. They allowed all parents of anyone who is inpatient to go "shopping". PCH received tons of donations and through the hard work of the staff here and many volunteers, allowed parents to get many presents for their children. It was just so surreal to think that I was "shopping" for Taylor and Savannah at PCH Toyland. After the shopping, we went into another room and volunteers wrapped our presents for us. The generosity of people is amazing!!! It is just still so hard to believe how this Christmas will be spent for my family. The toys and gifts are amazing but I would trade it all to be home with the girls together....

The true reality of having a child with leukemia hit hard again this week. Another patient who had ALL turned 4 on Tuesday, December 22. Unfortunately, she also passed away on her 4th birthday. I had only met her mother on brief occasions on the floor but can't stop thinking about her and her family. My heart breaks for them. Please pray for them....pray for strength to get through this extremely difficult time.

My heart also break this holiday for my friends the Merricks. Donn, Audra, and Delaney - please know how much we are thinking of you and praying for all of you. We think about Dawson all the time......you are all in my thoughts....we love you!

That is it for tonight.....I am emotionally spent and not really looking forward to tomorrow. I do wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers. You all mean so much to us.

Merry Christmas,
Kristen